Impatient

Standard

I emailed the new office yesterday – both the doctor and the financial coordinator. I haven’t heard back from either one, and I know that it’s totally a reasonable amount of time – and I think I even signed an acknowledgement form that said emails could take 48 hours to be answered, but I am eager and my eggs are not getting any younger.

In other news, the diet plan and working out seem to be moving along. I am down about 13 pounds, and exercising regularly.  On Wednesday nights,  we’ve started to go out with some friends and exercise – running and biking through the path in the neighborhood park.    The three kids ride their bikes and adults can choose to bike or run, as long as we have one adult on a bike to stay with the kids.  Last night was our first time out and, well, I don’t like exercising with other people. I like doing it on my own. I don’t like bench marking my efforts against what other people are doing – but when you are running with other people, how do you not do that?  I’ll be clear, it was no surprise to me that I don’t like doing this with other people – I knew that when I agreed to do it.  It just seemed like the right thing to do for the families and kids.

Working out with other people does not make me feel motivated and inspired.  I makes me feel beat down and not good enough.  I said it last night, as I was the last person to arrive back at the house – it’s like every nightmarish 10th grade gym class timed mile run, where I was last and had to deal with the fact that no matter how hard I had just tried – I was still last and everyone else was just standing around watching me huff my fat ass to the finish line.

Now, as adults, this really isn’t what’s happening.  No one is judging (I guess).  But it was totally a moment of reliving that feeling of high school awfulness.    I haven’t worked out with other people in over 10 years – even when The Wife and I go to the gym together, she gives me space and we do our own thing because she knows I just like to be on my own and do what I do.

And I am going to just have to get over it because these group workouts are not going to end.  It’s only one day a week.  I can handle that (once I am done whining about it).  And I think the more weight I lose, the easier it’s going to get.  But the running won’t get any easier until I lose more weight.  It’s going to be another 15 pounds before I even start to see improvement in my distance running.  If I really bust my ass, I might be able to make that happen in about 3 weeks.

I think I might try some HIIT training.  That sounds interesting to me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s