Relax, Relax, Relax


IUI tomorrow morning.  I have 4 follies.  I wanted more.  I wanted 6 or 8.  But, we got 4, so we go forth and hope for the best.

I started hypnosis.  It’s a bit new agey, so if you can’t be down with new agey stuff, I’m not sure how well this would go for you.  At least the hypnotherapist I am going to is fairly new agey, I can’t say if it’s all that way.  I had to really force myself to be open to this because I am a skeptic, and then I heard some of the things she was saying to help bring me into hypnosis, it was a challenge to keep at it.  Things like “Wisdom Center, allow her to remove obstacles from reaching her goals” – I had a bit of a hard time with it at first.  But I told myself to stay open to it, and I did.  I have had 2 sessions, and both were different experiences.

The first session, I was excited and interested, and then weirded out by the new age stuff.  But, after just accepting that for what it is, I did relax.  I heard and was aware of everything the hypnotherapist said, although afterwards I could not recall some of it.  I just know for sure I did hear it and it was all in line with what I am wanting to do here in terms of weight loss and calming and stress reduction around all of the fertility stuff.  I recall feeling heavy in my legs, and in my chest – a bit of a tingling feeling in the legs.  Then I recall calm, and her talking- but this is the part where I don’t recall what she said, and then she said to come back up, come back to the room and open my eyes.  And I know how weird this sounds, but it really did feel like coming back up into my head.  The only other time I had a similar mental feeling was when I was in childbirth, natural – no meds – and I was there and aware of everything, but mentally I was not in the room until something caught my attention and it felt like mentally I was being pulled back to conscious awareness and participation in my life.

I was a bit taken aback by what a powerful experience it was, and how unexpected that was.  And for the rest of the day, I was energized, rested, and I felt more mentally and emotionally buoyant.

The second session didn’t seem as easy for me.  I was really distracted by a garbage truck beeping outside, hearing my phone vibrate in my bag, etc.  I also had a small work crisis happening and had some difficulty getting my mind off of that.  But, at the same time, when those distractions came,  I could feel them pulling me mentally from a place of relaxation and quiet, to a noisier mental place.  So, I would guess that it still worked.   There was more guided imagery in this session than the first, and although at the time it was happening, I was certain I would recall everything she said, some of it is still hazy.  The real reason I think something was working right here is because I do recall her talking about a stress free insemination, a welcoming body, a healthy pregnancy, etc.  And anytime someone even mentions that about me, in my presence, I burst into tears.  But I didn’t – I didn’t cry.  And it wasn’t because I was biting back tears – it just didn’t happen.  So, while I can’t say for sure if I was hypnotized, I am led to believe that I probably was despite the distractions and the feeling that it was a bit harder than the first time.  I also left feeling more energized and light.

In terms of outcomes, it’s very hard for me to say if it’s working.  I happen to be having some major intestinal issues at the same time as the hypnosis started, so I am not sure some of my restraint is attributable to the hypnosis or to the intestinal issues.  Here’s what I can say:  there’s a big bag of jelly beans in my pantry and I have hardly touched them.  And that is unusual because I. Love. Jellybeans.  But I haven’t actively had to restrain myself from eating them, I just really haven’t wanted them.  When I do eat, my portion sizes have decreased significantly.  And not through any effort – I’m just not so hungry and food is less of a tasty joy than before.  So, maybe these are things I am seeing?  I sure wish I had a clean baseline to judge from and it wasn’t happening in conjunction with the intestinal issue.

I do, however, love the process of hypnosis.  I love acupuncture because it relaxes me, and the hypnotherapy appointments seem to do that at least three times better!  So,  I am going to keep going and see what happens next!

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