I seem to be recovering. The break from treatments is definitely good for me – mentally. I just needed a few minutes to collect my shit and regroup.
It was my birthday on Saturday and I didn’t think about IF or TTC one time – all day. It was a nice break. My kid had the whole day planned out. He took me to the zoo, then to the park to play flag football. We took a nap together – all kinds of snuggly – and then ended the day with Sushi and cupcakes. My kid is 4, almost 5 – and he realized that on my birthday, I get to be queen for a day. He went out of his way to make sure that everyone we encountered knew it was my birthday and thus treated me with the appropriate reverence.
It was a fun day.
I’ve also started taking my prozac again. I had stopped – and I recall having a good reason – but now I don’t recall what that reason was. Mother’s Day was such a bad day that I realized I had better get back on the Prozac – it’s necessary. And while I haven’t been back on long enough for it to really kick in significantly, I think it is starting to work a bit. In conjunction with the break from TTC for a minute, I feel a little lighter. I have a little more energy. I’m still more tired than necessary, but I also don’t feel like I am clawing my way out of the bottom of a very deep hole everyday just to try to function.
So, I guess this is improvement. Today I am grateful to feel better.