I got a call today from the fertility pharmacy.  “Hi, we have a prescription called in for you for an IUI cycle.”  Imagine my surprise since the last conversation with the nurse was that I had not yet decided what I wanted to do this cycle (see painfully frustrating conversation with nurse in previous post).  I could not feel any more put off by the fact that they have decided what I am doing and already moved forward – without having me on board.  Days before I even have my consultation with the doctor.  AND they called it into the wrong pharmacy.  You would think they would know which pharmacy has a deal with follistim and which one has the deal for gonal-f.

But ok.   I am being annoyed because clearly they aren’t listening to me.  And, I am 90% sure that I will be doing an IUI, unless the doctor has some major insight that I have not considered.  I need to just relax and forget about it.   I am seeing the doctor that I want to see on Wednesday and I have a lot of peace of mind about that.  She listens and she’s thoughtful and she gives considerate and honest feedback.  Even the things that are hard to hear.  So, that is good.

I think I am freaking out again because while I have said many times that I am preparing myself for the end of this journey, I don’t know that I will ever be ready for it to end.  And I haven’t quite figured out how I am going to give up, and stop, if we fail.  So, I think having a plan and consulting the doctor to make sure I have explored all options will help me put a period at the end of this sentence when it’s done being written.



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