4 Does Not Count


Beta is back.  HCG on Monday was 8.77.  HCG today is 13.04.   An increase of 4 and some change.  Which means that I have to stay on estrogen and progesterone and have another repeat beta on Tuesday.

The nurse who called me is not someone I know, and she clearly does not know my history with repeated losses.  She was upbeat about this result.  Trying to be encouraging, “It’s going up!  You might just have a slow starter…”

Or I might have another blighted ovum.  Or an ectopic.  Or it might still be just a chemical.  I explained that I know it needs to be doubling, and she agreed but still tried to force feed me some optimism.  She was nice, very nice, actually – just clearly not up to speed on how battle weary I am at this point.

Also, if I want the IVF clinic to draw another beta, it’s going to cost me $110.  If I go through my medical group (whose results are reliably SLOW to come in), it will be covered by my insurance.  IF I thought there was any chance this was something, I would spend the money and have the draw at the clinic.  But really, it went to 13.  I’ll be going to my medical group and just waiting for the results.  I am not throwing away any more money than I have to on something that is not happening.

There is no cause for optimism here.

One response »

  1. Well, fuck.

    That’s about all I’ve got.

    I’m not able to express clearly in words how frustrated I am for you. I had really hoped for a clear answer so that you could begin healing. I am so sorry this is dragging on and on….if there is anyone in the universe listening, could you have a little heart? This really does need to stop.

    Sending loves and hugs,

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