I’ve been forcing myself to try to be upbeat. I’ve been forcing myself to try not to get emotional and to just be ok. And so far, it has seemed to work. Until tonight. And I almost had a complete meltdown about kindergartens for my son next year. I mean, my level of anxiety and stress was really disproportionate to the situation.
First I was annoyed because we were re-districted right after we bought this house. And we were put in a low income district because they needed a solid upper middle class neighborhood in the district. Yay. Now, not that I generally have an issue with income brackets, but in terms of the school environment, schools that are generally in low income areas tend to have poorer performance. Period. So, we have a single school in our district within 15 minutes of our house. We have 4 schools now in another district within 3 minutes of our house. But, that district won’t take transfers. Which means we only have a single option for public school. So, we have also applied to all of the charter schools around in hopes that we can get into one of those. Which isn’t likely because we are out of district. So, I was contemplating renting an apartment just down the road from my house, which is in the neighboring school district, so we would have a residence there that we could use to get into the schools. It took about 20 minutes for me to discard that idea.
The I realized that the public school in our neighborhood only goes to 5th grade. And the middle school we’ve been assigned to now is in a BAD area. Then I REALLY started to get upset. Angry. And I was on the edge of complete mental breakdown. Seriously, my kid is starting kindergarten in the fall – but I was FREAKING out about 6th grade.
And then I felt shat upon by the universe again. And I spent some time (and still am) wallowing in self pity as to why, WHY, can’t something just go right???? All of that emotion and outrage and sadness and everything that I’ve been “keeping in check” redirected itself towards the school dilemma. I guess it was going to come out one way or the other. So, for the rest of tonight I am having a pity party. No one else is invited. But, lest I have an emotional outburst at some really inappropriate time, I’m gonna need to work through this.