I Shit My Pants


There.  I said it.

I have taken Lupron injections many cycles before and they’ve never had this effect on me.  But the pharmacy sent me a different brand this time and maybe that’s the culprit.  I don’t know what it is, but I do know that it made me shit my pants.

I was taking my son to preschool, which is a mere 2 minute drive from my house.  I felt perfectly fine when we left.  Happy, comfortable, not a twinge of discomfort.  About half way there, it hit.  I made the quickest U-Turn a human has ever made and in the minute or so that it took me to get home, I knew I wasn’t going to make it.  There was definitively going to be an incident.  So, here’s me – kid in the car, me tearing up in rage and humiliation as I shit my pants all the way into the house.

I left the kid in the car in the garage (It’s ok – he was safely strapped into his carseat, playing with toys, the car was off…he was safe).  It took a few minutes for me to clean up enough to go back out and get him.  I mean, he’s just potty trained himself – how the hell do I explain this to him?  Oh, and if you knew my kid, you would know that he’s VERY precocious and I would have probably been given an earnest talking to about getting to the potty sooner.  And then he probably would have gone to school and told his preschool teacher that Mommy had an accident in her pants this morning but it was ok because he explained to me that I needed to get to the potty sooner next time.  I could just see that all playing out in my head…I could see the preschool teacher looking at me thinking, “Wow.  You shit your pants…I would have never guessed you were a pants shitter.”

And so, I called someone else to come get him and take him to preschool so I could shower and get ready for work.  Again.

In so many ways, fertility treatments really rob you of your dignity.


2 responses »

    • Oh, it’s mostly funny now. I am eternally grateful that my son never realized what was going on! Because for REAL – I may have never been able to go to the preschool again 🙂

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