Things would be so much easier if I believed in God. I could attribute all of the crap in my life to God’s will or his desire – and I could find solace in things that I do not.

But, I don’t believe in god. Which means I just feel like reality is sometimes cruel. Found out about 2 new pregnant friends. One is due on the exact date I was. I haven’t even congratulated her yet because I start to throw up a littl ebit everytime I think about it. I am happy for her because I know she has been trying for a year or so and she is just thrilled. But my happiness for her isn’t enough to get me past my own loss to be able to talk about it.

Those two pregnancy announcements really did me in for the day.

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