(Originally posted in LiveJournal)
Maxi pads are a fucking indignity.
My D&C is scheduled for Thursday, but my body is indicating that it may not wait that long. I don’t know if I am relieved or not. i tend to be of the “avoid unnecessary medical procedures” crowd, but I am not convinced this would be unnecessary. I don’t know how I am going to cope if I have to see it when it comes out. What do you do with it? I just frankly, don’t want to encounter those situations for my mental health. Plus, I am far enough along that there’s a high risk of infection and only a partial miscarriage which would result in an emergency D&C rather than something well planned and carried out.
I’m told that if it does happen on its own, I was far enough along that I’ll actually go into labor with contractions and severe cramping and everything. Could it be more unfair? Everything about this just fucking blows.
I sort of wish I hadn’t decided to keep this whole process such a secret, but part of me is also glad I did.