Maxi Pads

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(Originally posted in LiveJournal)

 

Maxi pads are a fucking indignity.

My D&C is scheduled for Thursday, but my body is indicating that it may not wait that long.  I don’t know if I am relieved or not.   i tend to be of the “avoid unnecessary medical procedures” crowd, but I am not convinced this would be unnecessary.  I don’t know how I am going to cope if I have to see it when it comes out.  What do you do with it?  I just frankly, don’t want to encounter those situations for my mental health.  Plus, I am far enough along that there’s a high risk of infection and only a partial miscarriage which would result in an emergency D&C rather than something well planned and carried out.

I’m told that if it does happen on its own, I was far enough along that I’ll actually go into labor with contractions and severe cramping and everything.  Could it be more unfair?  Everything about this just fucking blows.

I sort of wish I hadn’t decided to keep this whole process such a secret, but part of me is also glad I did.

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